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| The Happiest Toddler on the Block: The New Way to Stop the Daily Battle of Wills and Raise a Secure and Well-Behaved One- to Four-Year-Old | 
 enlarge | Authors: Harvey Karp, Paula Spencer
Publisher: Bantam
Category: Book
List Price: $14.00
Buy Used: $2.95
You Save: $11.05 (79%)
New (4) Used (27) from $2.95
Avg. Customer Rating:  124 reviews
Sales Rank: 12909
Media: Paperback
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 336
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.6
Dimensions (in): 8.2 x 5.5 x 0.8
ISBN: 0553381431
Dewey Decimal Number: 649.122
EAN: 9780553381436
ASIN: 0553381431
Publication Date: May 31, 2005
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Condition: Visible shelf wear -- may have some notes/markings on pages
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Product Description
Toddlers can drive you bonkers…so adorable and fun one minute…so stubborn and demanding the next! Yet, as unbelievable as it sounds, there is a way to turn the daily stream of “nos” and “don’ts” into “yeses” and hugs…if you know how to speak your toddler’s language. In one of the most useful advances in parenting techniques of the past twenty-five years, Dr. Karp reveals that toddlers, with their immature brains and stormy outbursts, should be thought of not as pint-size people but as pintsize…cavemen.
Having noticed that the usual techniques often failed to calm crying toddlers, Dr. Karp discovered that the key to effective communication was to speak to them in their own primitive language. When he did, suddenly he was able to soothe their outbursts almost every time! This amazing success led him to the realization that children between the ages of one and four go through four stages of “evolutionary” growth, each linked to the development of the brain, and each echoing a step in prehistoric humankind’s journey to civilization:
• The “Charming Chimp-Child” (12 to 18 months): Wobbles around on two legs, grabs everything in reach, plays a nonstop game of “monkey see monkey do.”
• The “Knee-High Neanderthal” (18 to 24 months): Strong-willed, fun-loving, messy, with a vocabulary of about thirty words, the favorites being “no” and “mine.”
• The “Clever Caveman” (24 to 36 months):
Just beginning to learn how to share, make friends, take turns, and use the potty.
• The “Versatile Villager” (36 to 48 months): Loves to tell stories, sing songs and dance, while trying hard to behave.
To speak to these children, Dr. Karp has developed two extraordinarily effective techniques:
1) The “fast food” rule—restating what your child has said to make sure you got it right;
2) The four-step rule—using gesture, repetition, simplicity, and tone to help your
irate Stone-Ager be happy again.
Once you’ve mastered “toddler-ese,” you will be ready to apply behavioral techniques specific to each stage of your child’s development, such as teaching patience and calm, doing time-outs (and time-ins), praise through “gossiping,” and many other strategies. Then all the major challenges of the toddler years—including separation anxiety, sibling rivalry, toilet training, night fears, sleep problems, picky eating, biting and hitting, medicine taking — can be handled in a way that will make your toddler feel understood. The result: fewer tantrums, less yelling, and, best of all, more happy, loving time for you and your child.
From the Hardcover edition.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 119 more reviews...
 A Suprisingly Good Book! But it requires discernment November 28, 2008
I was pleasantly surprised when picking up Dr. Karp's book. The first section of the book is amusing and written in a humorous tone. Some points may be excessively repeated. If you look at the title of the book it says the book has a co-writer. In other words, these are not Dr. Karp's words verbatim. And perhaps that is where the problems arise.
In the first part you learn about your cave man child, the second part, practical steps to dealing with them. The gem of the book is the simple message, LISTEN to your child, rather than try to thwart or punish them. The HOW to listen part of the book definitely needs improvement. When you can care for and honor your child, they will be happier. So, that's the good message.
I don't agree with ideas like time outs, and I think just practicing these techniques as they are stated could be shallow or superficial. The point which I think Dr. Karp was trying to get through is to BE YOURSELF as a parent. So apparently Dr. Karp likes talking to his children like a cave man. Other parents have different styles. If you are able to step back from the advice and read it objectively, and not feel like you have to do it all, then that is a way to get more out of the book.
What is missing from the book is BREASTFEEDING. Happy babies and toddlers are breastfed because the breastfeeding helps them surrender to life. There is also, as other reviewers pointed out, contradictions in the text, such as honoring and listening to your toddler, and then on the other hand trying to detour or steer your child's behavior.
For those parents who truly want to honor their children with attachment parenting from the heart, a very eye opening text which encourages the parents natural wisdom (which I wrote) is Healing Our Children: Because Your New Baby Matters! Sacred Wisdom for Preconception, Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting (ages 0-6)
Review is by Ramiel Nagel also author of Cure Tooth Decay: Heal and Prevent Cavities with Nutrition (First Edition)
 Very disappointing. October 22, 2008
0 out of 1 found this review helpful
I was so excited about the title of this book but I was terribly disappointed once I began reading. I really could not get past the repeated references to monkey-cave-whatever children. I know I am raising a human being! My child is not "evolving." She is growing and learning. I took this right back to the store.
Better books to read: "Positive Discipline in the First Years", "The First Three Years of Life", and "Raising a Happy, Unspoiled Child."
 Great gift October 6, 2008
Gave this to my daughter who has a 2 year old. Seems to be working well. She read the happiest baby on the block which I love to give as a gift to new mothers.
Demeaning to Children September 15, 2008
2 out of 22 found this review helpful
I admit I've not read the book, so take that as you will. However, after reading all the reviews positive and negative, all the information on this book provided by this site and the first page option, I have come to the conclusion that this book will help a small group of people, but on the whole is not useful. I am almost saddened to see so many positive reviews advocating that one lock their child in their room at night to make them sleep on their own. In the same breath this man insists that we speak "toddler-ese" because the child won't understand more? How will a being that doesn't understand more than primitive language (supposedly) understand the concept of being locked in their room, albeit "lovingly".
I also find fault in the idea that one should "talk like a cave man" to a toddler because that's what they will understand. From day one we didn't do baby talk, we didn't shorten words or sentences for ease. We just spoke to her. Normally using proper grammar. At 15 months old her vocabulary was reaching over 150 words. Now, my daughter is almost 3 and is quite articulate. I've never once in her life hear her say, "Kiara need milk". It's always "Mommy, I need some milk." (Please is optional, but we're getting there.) I feel that the cave-man talk stunts their growth and understanding of the way people are to talk and interact with one another. It supports the laziness that we're finding in our children's studies as evidenced by flagging test scores and general apathy regarding education. Give your child the tools to express themselves rather than dumbing down the world. People underestimate the intelligence of babies/toddlers far too much. Quite sad, really, as children are amazing and incredible creatures.
Tantrums happen. Kids want to cuddle before bed. The lack of these things doesn't necessarily make them "happy" nor does the inclusion of these "stumbling blocks" indicate an "unhappy child".
This book is not for our family.
Most kids love unusual September 14, 2008
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
It felt unusual to do what the author suggests, but every child in my family & day care responded/responds so well to the ideas presented. Children are not little adults, their brains work differently. The adult who assumes the concepts in the book won't work & who therefore practice with obvious cinicism are going to have trouble. Give yourself & the child a fair chance with the suggestions made in this book & the rewards will be awesome!
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